幽默的翻译

幽默的翻译篇一：简单幽默英语小故事及翻译

1

I Don?t Like Her

Bob goes to a new school.

One day he comes back, “Bob, do you like your new teacher?” his mother asks. “I don?t like her, Mother. Because first she says that three and three is six, and then she says that two and four is six, too.”

我不喜欢她

鲍勃的去了所新学校。

一天，他回到家，他妈妈问他：“你喜欢你的新老师吗？”

“不，我不喜欢她，妈妈。因为她先说3加3等于6，然后她又说2加4等于6.”

2

Ten Candies

Mother asks her son, “Jim, if you have ten candies, and you eat four, then how many candles do you have?”

“Ten.” Jim says.

“Ten？” Mother asks.

Yes, Mum. Four candies are in my stomach and six candies are out of my stomach. Four and six is ten, isn?t it right?”

十块糖

妈妈问儿子：“吉姆， 如果你有10块糖，吃了4块，那你还有几块糖？” “10块。”吉姆说。

“10块？”妈妈问。

“是的，妈妈。因为4块在我的肚子里面，6块在肚子外面，4加6等于10，不对吗？”

3

Where is the egg?

Teacher: Can you make a sentence with the word "egg"?

Student: Yes. I ate a piece of cake yesterday.

Teacher: Then where is the “egg"?

Student: In the cake, sir.

鸡蛋在哪里？

老师：你能用“鸡蛋”一词造句吗？

学生：可以。我昨天吃了一块蛋糕。

老师：“鸡蛋”在哪？

学生：在蛋糕里，先生

4

Count Tomorrow Morning

It?s a night. John is looking at the sky.

Tom is John?s younger brother. He asks John “What are you doing?”

John says, “I?m counting stars.”

Tom laughs and says, “It?s really dark now. Why not count them tomorrow morning?”

明天早上数

一个晚上, 约翰抬头看着天空。

汤姆是约翰的弟弟。他问约翰：“你在干什么？”

约翰说：“我在数星星。”

汤姆笑着说：“现在天空太黑了。你为什么不等到明天早上再数呢？” 5

It Must Be Crowded

A teacher is telling his students, “The moon is very large. Several millions of people can live there.”

And a boy laughs and says, “It must get crowded when it?s a crescent moon.” 一定很拥挤

一位老师告诉学生们：“月亮非常大，上面能住几百万人。”

一个男孩笑着说：“当月亮变成月牙的时候，住在上面的人该多拥挤啊！ 6

Are Flies Yummy?

Tony and his father are eating dinner.

Suddenly Tony asks his father, “Dad, are flies yummy?”

Dad frowns and says, “No, I think it?s yucky. Why do you ask me this question? It?s a silly question.”

But Tony says, “ There was one fly in your plate.”

苍蝇好吃吗？

托尼正和他爸爸一起吃晚餐。

突然，托尼问他的爸爸：“爸爸，苍蝇好吃吗？”

爸爸皱眉说：“我想不好吃。你怎么会问这个问题？这可是一个愚蠢的问题。” 可是托尼说：“刚才你盘子里有一只苍蝇。”

7

“I'm sorry, Madam, but I shall have to charge you twenty dollars for pulling your boy's tooth .”

“Twenty dollars! Why , you charged only four dollars for such work before!” “Yes，but your boy yelled so terribly that he scared four other patients out of the office .”

“对不起，夫人，为您孩子拔牙我要收取20美元。”

“20美元！为什么？你之前只收4美元的！”

“是的，但是你的孩子大喊大叫，把另外四个病人吓跑了。”

8

A Good Boy

Little Robert asks his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"

"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answers.

"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"

"She is the one who sells the candy."

好孩子

小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。 “昨天给你的钱干什么了？”

“我给了一个可怜的老太太，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。

“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？”

“她是个卖糖果的。”

9

I Made Granny Glad

A teacher is telling her students the importance of making others glad. “Now, children,” she

says “Did you make someone else glad?”

“Please, teacher,” says a small boy, “I made someone glad yesterday.”

“Well done. Who was that?” The teacher says.

“My granny.” The boy says.

“Good boy. Now tell us how you made your grandmother glad.” The teacher says. “I went to see her yesterday, and stayed with her for three hours. Then I said to her, ?Granny,

I?m going home.? And she said, “well. I?m glad!”

我让奶奶高兴了

一位教师正在对学生将使人高兴的重要性。“听着，孩子们，”他说：“你们曾让别人

高兴过吗？”

“我，老师，”一个男孩子说，“昨天我就使别人高兴过。”

“做得好。是谁呢？”老师说。

“我奶奶。”小男孩说。

“好孩子。现在告诉我们，你是怎样使你奶奶高兴的？”老师问道。

幽默的翻译篇二：英语幽默笑话带翻译

英语幽默笑话带翻译

1:A man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the hospital. His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: "I think that he is very ill." "I am afraid that he is dead."said the doctor, Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: "I'm not dead. I'm still alive." "Be quiet, "said the wife. "the doctor knows better than you!" 医生懂得多

一个男人在街上被出租车撞倒送进了医院.他的妻子站在他的床前对医生说:"我想他伤得很厉害."医生说:"我怕他已经死了."听到医生的话,这个男人转动着头说:"我没死,我还活着."妻子说:"安静,医生比你懂得多."

2:You can't go without me

The bus is very crowded.Aman tries to get on,but no one gives way to him. "Hey,let me get on the bus."the man shouts.

"It's too crowded.You'd better take the next bus."a passenger says to him.

"But you can't go withou me.I'm the driver."the man says.

没有我你们走不了

公共汽车上很拥挤.一位男士想上车,但是没有人给他让路.

"喂,让我上车!"那位男士喊道.

"车太挤了,你最好坐下一辆"车上的一位乘客对他说.

"但是没有我你们走不了.我是司机!"那位男士说道.

3:Drunk

One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk."

"But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"

醉酒

一天，父亲与小儿子一道回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄，老是有提不完的问题。他向父亲发问道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什么意思？” “唔，孩子，”父亲回答说，“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了四个，那么我就算醉了。” “可是，爸爸， ”孩子说，“那儿只有一个警察呀！”

4:Hospitality

The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?" "In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy.

好客

由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时，家里没有奶酪了，于是女主人向大家表示歉意。这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子。过了一会儿，他拿着一片奶酪回到房间，把奶酪放在客人的盘子里。 客人微笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好。你在哪里找到的奶酪？” “在捕鼠夹上，先生。”那小男孩说。 5:Dear white, something you got to know .When I was born, I was black.When I grow up, I am blackWhen I'm under the sun, I'm blackWhen I'm cold, I'm blackWhen I'm afraid, I'm black.

When I'm sick, I'm black.When I die, I'm still black.you---white

people,When you were born, you were pink.When you grow up, you become white.You're red under the sun.You're blue when you're cold.You are yellow when you're afraid.You're green when you're sick.You're gray when you die.And you, call me "color"?

亲爱的白种人，有几件事你必须知道。 当我出生时，我是黑色的我长大了，我是黑色的我在阳光下，我是黑色的我寒冷时，我是黑色的我害怕时，我是黑色的我生病了，我是黑色的当我死了，我仍是黑色的。你---白种人，当你出生时，你是粉红色的。你长大了，变成白色的。你在阳光下，你是红色的。你寒冷时，你是青色的。你害怕时，你是黄色的。你生病时，你是绿色的。当你死时，你是灰色的。而你，却叫我「有色人种」？

6：Where is the father?

Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings.

"Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!"

"Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?"

The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures."

兄弟俩在看一些漂亮的油画。

“看，”哥哥说，“这些画多漂亮呀！”

“是啊，”弟弟说道，“可是在所有这些画中，只有妈妈和孩子。

那爸爸去哪儿了呢？”

哥哥想了会儿，然后解释道：“很明显，他当时正在画这些画呗。”

7：How Many Rabbits?

Teacher: Now, Jonathan, if I gave you three rabbits and then the next day I gave you five rabbits, how many rabbits would you have? Jonathan:Nine, sir.

Teacher: Nine?

Jonathan:I've got one already, sir.

多少只兔子？

老师：好，乔纳森，假如我给你三只兔子，第二天我又给你五只，你一共有多少只兔子？

乔纳森：一共有九只，先生。

老师：九只？

乔纳森：先生，我本来就有一只。

8：These Are My Jeans

After going on a diet，a woman felt really good about

herself----especially when she was able to fit into a pair of jeans she had outgrown long ago．

“Look，look．” she shouted while running downstairs to show her husband．“I can wear my old jeans again．”

Her husband looked at her for a long time，when said，“Honey，I love you，but these are my jeans．”

那是我的裤子!

一个妇女在减肥一段时间后自我感觉特别好——特别是当她又能穿上很早以前就穿不上的牛仔裤时。她跑下楼冲她丈夫喊道：“快看，快看。我又能穿上以前的裤子了。”她丈夫看了她好一会儿，然后说：“亲爱的，我爱你。但那是我的裤子。”

9：The mean man's party

The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot." "Why use my elbow and foot?"

"Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-hangded, are you?" 吝啬鬼请客

一个出了名的吝啬鬼终于决定要请一次客了。他在向一个朋友解释怎么找到他家时说：“你上到五楼，找中间那个门，然后用你的胳膊肘按门铃。门开了之后，再用你的脚把门推开。”

“为什么要用我的肘和脚呢？”

“你的双手得拿礼物啊。天哪，你总不会空着手来吧？”吝啬鬼回答。

10：All I do is pay

"My family is just like a nation," Mr. Brown told his colleague. "My wife

is the minister of finance, my mother-in-law is the minister of war, and my daughter is foreign secretary."

"Sounds interesting, " his colleague replied. "And what is your position?"

"I'm the people. All I do is pay."

我要做的一切就是付钱

布朗先生告诉同事说：“我的家简直就象一个国家一样。我妻子

是财政部长。我岳母是作战部长，我女儿是外交秘书。”

“听上去挺有意思的，”他的同事说，“那你的职务是什么呢？”

“我就是老百姓。我要做的一切就是付钱。”

1. What room has no walls, no doors, no windows, and no floors?

A mushroom.(蘑菇)

2. What is smaller than an insect's mouth?

Anything it eats.

3. What large instrument do you carry in your ears?

Drums, that is eardrums.(鼓膜)

4. What's too much for one, just right for two, but nothing at all for three?

A secret.

5. What person tried to make you smile most of the time?

A photographer.

6. What animal has a head like a cat, eyes like a cat, a tail like a cat, but isn't a cat?

A kitten.(小猫)

7. What surprising things happen every 24 hours?

Day breaks, but doesn't fall; night falls, but doesn't break.

8. What can hear you without ears and can answer you without a mouth?An echo.(回声)

9. What do you know about the kings of France?

They are all dead.

10. What question can you never answer 'yes" to"

Are you asleep?

11. Why do some old people never use glasses?

They must prefer bottles to glasses.

12. Why is the person wearing two coats while painting the house?

Because the instructions on the paint can say "Put on two coats for best results."

幽默的翻译篇三：看笑话学英语笑话大全爆笑翻译

1.One day a visitor from the city came to a small rural area to drive around the country roads, see how the farms looked, and perhaps to see how farmers earned their living. The city man saw a farmer in his yard, holding a pig up in his hands, and lifting it so that the pig could eat apples from an apple tree. The city man said to the farmer," I see that your pig likes apples, but isn"t that quite a waste of time?" The farmer replied," What"s time to a pig?"

一天，有一个城市里的游客来到一个小乡村，在乡间路上开着车，想看看农庄是什么样子，也想看看农夫怎样种田过日子。这位城里人看见一位农夫在宅后的草地 上，手中抱着一头猪，并把它举得高高的，好让它能够吃到树上的苹果。城里人对农夫说，"我看你的猪挺喜欢吃苹果的，但是，这不是很浪费时间吗?"那位农夫 回答说，"时间对猪有什么意义?"

2.The Looney Bin

Late one night at the insane asylum (疯人院）one inmate shouted, "I am Napoleon!”Another one said, "How do you know?"

The first inmate said, "God told me!"

Just then, a voice from another room shouted, "I did not!"

疯人院

一天晚上，在疯人院里，一个病人说：“我是拿破仑！”另一个说：“你怎么知道？”第一个人说：“上帝对我说的！”一会儿，一个声音从另一个房间传来：“我没说！”

Notes:

（1）Looney (俚语）疯子

（2）inmate （n.同住者, 同室者(特指在医院、监狱)）

（3）insane asylum (疯人院）

3.Boxing and Running

Dan is teaching his son how to box. As he does so, he left his friend, "This is a tough world, so I’m teaching my boy to fight." Friend: "But suppose he comes up against someone much bigger than he is, who’s also been taught how to box."

Dan: "I’m teaching him how to run, too."

拳击和赛跑

丹在教他的儿子怎样拳击。他告诉他的朋友：“这是一个粗暴的世界，所以我要教我的儿子怎么去拼搏。”

朋友：“如果他碰上的对手是一个比他高大，健壮而且也会拳击的人怎么办？”

丹：“我也会教他怎么样赛跑呢。”

NOTE

come up against 遇到一个对手 against表示相对的相反的

4.The warden of the prison felt sorry for one of his inmates because every weekend on Visitor’s Day, most of the prisoners had family members and friends coming, but poor George always sat alone in his cell.

So one Visitor’s Day, the warden called George to his office and said, "I notice you’ve never had any visitors, George." Sympathetic, he put his hand on George’s shoulder. "Tell me, don’t you have any friends or family?"

George replied, "Oh, sure I do, Warden. It’s just that they’re all in here!"

典狱长对狱中一位囚犯深感同情，因为每逢周末的探访日，大多数囚犯都有家人或朋友来访，但是可怜的乔治总是孤伶伶地坐在自己的囚室中。

因此在一个探访日，典狱长把乔治叫到办公室说：“乔治，我注意到从来没有人来探望过你。”他满怀同情地把手放在乔治的肩膀上：“告诉我，你没有任何朋友或家人吗？”

乔治回答：“喔！当然有，典狱长，只不过他们全都在这里面！”

5.Policeman: Why didn't you shout for help when you were robbed of your watch?

Man: If I had opened my mouth, they'd have found my four gold teeth. That would be much worse.

警察：有人抢你的手表时，你为什么不呼救呢？

男子：要是我张口的话，他们就会发现我的四颗金牙。那就更糟了。

6.A shoplifter（商店扒手）51kxh.cn |was caught red-handed trying to steal a watch from a jewelry store. "Listen," said the shoplifter, "I know you don't want any trouble either. What do you say I just buy the watch, and we forget about this?"

The manager agreed and wrote up the sales slip. The crook（骗子，坏蛋） looked at the slip and said, "This is a little more than I intended to spend."

一个小偷在一家珠宝店企图偷走一只手表的时候被当场擒获。“听着，”小偷说，“我知道你们也不想惹麻烦。我把这只表买下，然后我们就当什么也没发生，你看怎样？”

经理表示同意，然后列了一张售货单。小偷看着单子说道：“这比我最初的预算稍稍高了一点，你们还有没有便宜一点儿东西。"

7.The suspicious-looking man drove up to the border, where he was greeted by asentry（哨兵） . When the guard looked in the trunk, he was surprised to find six sacks bulging at the seams（缝合线） . [来自我要看笑话51kxh.cn]

"What's in here?" he asked.

"Dirt," the driver replied.

"Take them out," the guard instructed. "I want to check them."

Obliging, the man removed the bags, and sure enough, each one of them contained nothing but dirt. Reluctantly, the guard let him go.

A week later the man came back, and once again, the sentry looked in the truck.

"What's in the bags this time?" he asked.

"Dirt, more dirt." said the man.

Not believing him, the guard checked the sacks and, once again, he found nothing but soil.

The same thing happened every week for six months, and it finally became so frustrating to the guard that he quit and became a bartender（酒保） .

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