关于幽默的英语作文

关于幽默的英语作文篇一：幽默、搞笑的中英文翻译大全

幽默、搞笑的中英文翻译大全

~本人见过的最邪门的翻译

电影

《国产007》=《From Beijing with Love》——从北京带着爱 《唐伯虎点秋香》=《Flirting Scholar》——正在调情的学者

《鹿鼎记》（黄晓明版 陈小春版 梁朝伟版） =《Royal Tramp》——皇家流浪汉

《英雄本色》=《A Better Tomorrow》——明天会更好

《神雕侠侣》(内地版 古天乐版 刘德华版)=《Saviour of the Soul》——灵魂的救星

《三国演义》=《Romance of Three Kingdoms》——三个王国的罗曼史

《赤壁》＝《Red Cliff》——红岩

《霸王别姬》=《Farewell My Concubine》——再见了，我的小老婆 《东邪西毒》=《Ashes of Time》——时间的灰烬（这个译名意味深长，无论你是东邪还是西毒，武功再高还不是最后都成了时间的灰烬？）

《甲方乙方》=《Dream Factory》——梦工厂

《烈火金刚》=《Steel Meets Fire》——钢遇上了火

《刘三姐》=《Third Sister Liu》——第三个姐姐刘

《花样年华》=《In the Mood for Love》——在爱的情绪中

五讲、四美、三热爱

大学校园里，流行"五讲、四美、三热爱"，中国人把其翻译成："five talks ,four beauty ,three

lovers".美国人一听迷惑了"five talks"敢情是谈了五个，"four beauty"敢情是谈了五个，其中有四个是美人，那么"three lovers"一定是爱上了四个美人中的三个（笑声不断）。

武林秘籍的英文翻译

冲灵剑法 GG and MM ’’s soul sword (GG和MM的灵魂之剑 ，听起来好像很熟悉 )

九阳神功 nine man’’s power (九个男子的力量)

九阴真经 nine woman’’story (九个女人的故事)

九阴白骨爪 nine woman catch a white bone

(九个女人抓著一个白骨，老外看了还以为会出现召唤兽呢)

历史上最强的翻译

1．we two who and who？

咱俩谁跟谁阿

2．how are you ? how old are you?

怎么是你，怎么老是你？

3．you don't bird me, I don't bird you

你不 鸟我，我也不 鸟你

4．you have seed I will give you some color to see see, brothers ！ together up ！

你有种，我要给你点颜色瞧瞧，兄弟们，一起上！

5．hello everybody! f you have something to say, then say! if you have nothing to say, go home!!

有事起奏，无事退朝

6．you me you me

彼此彼此

7．You Give Me Stop!!

你给我站住！

8．know is know no know is no know

知之为知之， 不知为不 。。。。。。。。。

9．WATCH SISTER

表妹

10．dragon born dragon, chicken born chicken, mouse' son can make hole!!

龙生龙，凤生凤，老鼠的儿子大地洞

11.American Chinese not enough 美中不足

12.one car come one car go ,two car pengpeng, people die 车祸现场描述(一辆车来一辆车走，两车“嘭嘭“，人死了)

13.heart flower angry open 心花怒放

14.go past no mistake past 走过路过，不要错过

15.小明： I am sorry!

老外： I am sorry too!

小明： I am sorry three!

老外： What are you sorry for?

小明： I am sorry five!

16.If you want money, I have no; if you want life, I have one! 要钱没有，要命一条！

17.I call Li old big, to year 25. 我叫李老大，今年25。

18．you have two down son. 你有两下子

horse horse tiger tiger 马马虎虎

people mountain people sea 人山人海

If you tiger me, I will mountain you. 你唬我我就扇你

you ask me, me ask who? 你问我我问谁

one poor two white; 一穷二白

eat tofu; 吃豆腐

give you a color to see see! 给你点颜色看看

no good see 不好看

no door! 没门

老师叫翻译Who is this man?

答：这是谁的男人？

全班大笑，老师无语。

we two who and who!

译：咱俩谁跟谁啊！

How are you? How old are you?

译：怎么是你？怎么老是你？

YOU have seed i will give you some color see see, brothers! together up! 译：你有种，我要给你点颜色瞧瞧。兄弟们，一起上！

I call Li old big.toyear25.

译：我叫李老大，今年25.

As far as you go to die!

译：要多远死多远！

800yuan, eat you, sleep you.

译：800块，吃你的，住你的

一次为一个初中小孩搞家教，在其英语课本上发现如下恐怖字眼：爸死（bus）爷死( yes )哥死（girls）妹死（Mis）……死光（school）good good study, day day up 好好学习，天天向上

三字经

人之初： At the begining of life.

性本善： Sex is good.

性相近： Basically,all the sex are same.

习相远： But it depends on how the way you do it.

苟不教： If you do not practise all the time.

性乃迁： Sex will leave you..

关于幽默的英语作文篇二：英语幽默句子

幽默的英语句子

1) Money is not everything. There?s Mastercard & Visa.

钞票不是万能的，有时还需要信用卡。

2) One should love animals. They are so tasty.

每个人都应该热爱动物，因为它们很好吃。 3)Save water. Shower with your girlfriend. 要节约用水，尽量和女友一起洗澡。

4)Love the neighbor. But don?t get caught.

要用心去爱你的邻居，不过不要让她的老公知道。

5)Behind every successful man, there is a woman. And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two. 每个成功男人的背后，都有一个女人。每个不成功男人的背后，都有两个女人。 6)Every man should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in life.

再快乐的单身汉迟早也会结婚，幸福不是永久的嘛。

7)The wise never marry, And when they marry they become otherwise.

聪明人都是未婚的，结婚的人很难再聪明起来。

8)Success is a relative term. It brings so many relatives.

成功是一个相关名词，他会给你带来很多不相关的亲戚（联系）。

9)Never put off the work till tomorrow what you can put off today.

不要等明天交不上差再找借口，今天就要找好。

10)Love is photogenic. It needs darkness to develop.

爱情就象照片，需要大量的暗房时间来培养。（老外也保守，要摸黑办事，哈哈）

11)Children in backseats cause accidents. Accidents in backseats cause children. 后排座位上的小孩会生出意外，后排座位上的意外会生出小孩。

12)"Your future depends on your dreams." So go to sleep. "

现在的梦想决定着你的将来"，所以还是再睡一会吧。

13)There should be a better way to start a day than waking up every morning.

应该有更好的方式开始新一天，而不是千篇一律的在每个上午都醒来。

14)"Hard work never killed anybody." But why take the risk? "

"努力工作不会导致死亡！"不过我不会用自己去证明。

15)"Work fascinates me." I can look at it for hours! "

"工作好有意思耶！"尤其是看着别人工作。

16)God made relatives; Thank God we can cho

ose our friends.

神决定了谁是你的亲戚，幸运的是在选择朋友方面他给了你留了余地。

17)When two?s company, three?s the result! 两个人的状态是不稳定的，三个人才是！

18)A dress is like a barbed fence. It protects the premises without restricting the view. 服饰就象铁丝网，它阻止你冒然行动但并不妨碍你尽情的观看。

19)The more you learn, the more you know, The more you know, the more you forget. The more you forget, the less you know. So why bother to learn.

学的越多，知道的越多，知道的越多，忘记的越多，忘记的越多，知道的越少，为什么学来着？

1.国外有个节目采访lord of ring（指环王）里面那个小哈比人时，他讲了个冷笑话：Q: a deer, has no eyes, what's its name？（一只鹿，没有眼睛，应该叫什么？）

A: I don?t know ,what is it？（我不知道，该叫什么？）

Q: no eye deer……(no idea)（没眼睛鹿……没主意（英语口语的谐音））

agian, a deer has no eyes, no legs, what's its name？（那么，一只鹿，没眼睛，也没有腿，该叫什么？）

A: I don?t know, what's it then？（我还是不知道，应该叫什么？）

Q: still no idea……”（还是没眼睛鹿（用了谐音））

2.某次英文考试有两道题目：

1）我穿上外套，却发现第一个扣子掉了。

2）他听见电话铃响，就过去接了电话。

正确答案应为：

1）I put on my coat and found its first button was gone.

2）As soon as he heard the phone ringing, he went to pick it up.

但是某生的答案是：

1）Shit!

2）Hello?

3老师在黑板上写了一句：Time is money，并让同学们翻译。

有名学生答道：“汤姆是玛丽。”

4小明上英文课时跟老师说：May I go to the toilet?

老师说：Go ahead.

小明就坐了下来。过了一会儿，小明又跟老师说：May I go to the toilet?

老师说：Go ahead.

小明又坐了下来。他旁边的同学于是忍不住问：你不是跟老师说要上厕所吗？怎么不去？小明说：你没听老师说「去你个头」啊！

5某日刘洪涛遇到外宾，上前搭话曰：I am hongtao liu．

外宾曰：我他妈还是方片七呢！

6江青会见外宾，要求翻译要严格按她的意思翻，不许走样。

外宾一见到江青，立刻拍马屁道："Miss Jiang, you are very beautiful."

翻译照翻，江青心花怒放，嘴上还要谦虚一下：“哪里，哪里”。

翻译不敢怠慢，把江青的话翻成英文："Where? Where?"

外宾一愣，还有这样的人，追问哪里漂亮的，干脆马屁拍到底："Everywhere, everywhere."翻译：“你到处都很漂亮。”

江青更高兴了，但总是要客气一下：“不见得，不见得”。

翻译赶紧翻成英文："You are not allowed to see, you are not allowed to see."

7一对热恋中的男女。女生非常没有安全感，于是对着男友说：“SAY ?I LOVE YOU!!?SAY IT! SAY IT! SAY IT!”

男的答道：“IT!”

8某人刻苦学习英语，终有小成。一日上街不慎与一老外相撞，

忙说：I am sorry.

老外应道：I am sorry too.

某人听后又道：I am sorry three.

老外不解，问：What are you sorry for?

某人无奈，道：I am sorry five.

9某男，亦粗通英文，至使馆，有表要填，有一栏是：Sex，该男思之久已，毅然下笔：“Once a week”。

签证官观后暴笑，曰：“This item should be filled in with male or female.”

该男顿时赧颜，思之，填下“female”，官楞之，曰：“shouldn?t it be male?”

男急释曰：“I am a normal man, so I have sex with female.

和“Kiss”有关的词汇

kiss-ass n.马屁精,谄媚者, 奉承

kiss good-bye 吻别, 放弃,失去

kiss of death n.死神之吻，乍看有益但会导致毁灭的行为

kiss of life n.生命之吻

kiss of live n.口对口人工呼吸

kiss of peace [宗] 接吻礼,团结友爱的接吻

kiss the rod v.甘心受罚

kiss the post v.吃闭门羹；为时过晚

blow a kiss 飞吻

vacuum kiss 真空吻（*ing the air out of one?s partner?s mouth and lungs）

French kiss 法式接吻（kiss with your mouth open and your tongues touching）Platonic kiss 柏拉图之吻（short kiss on the check for greeting）

Smooch v/n 热吻

Peckn 匆匆轻吻

经典英语绕口令

1. Canners can can what they can can but can not can things can't be canned.

2. Bill's big brother is building a beautiful building between two big brick blocks.

3.Please, Paul, pause for applause.

4.“Shall I show you the shop for shoes and shirts?” Shirley said to shelly.

5.Do you agree, if you are free to come to tea with me by the sea?

6.Paul called from the hall that he had slipped on the floor and couldn't get to the door.

7.I'd buy my ties before the price begins to rise.

8.A snow-white swan swam swiftly to catch a slowly swimming snake in a lake.

9.It is a fine thing to sing in Spring, I think.

10.Famine and failure faced the frightened farmer.

11.I am amazed it is a craze these days to dance to music of Jazz.

12.In winter the weather in Wales is wild

13.I know. You know. I know that you know. I know that you know that I know.

14.Mike likes to write by the nice bright light at night.

15.Peter piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.

英语谚语500句 （A:51--100）

51)A man becomes learned by asking questions.

不耻下问才能有学问。

52)A man can do no more than he can.

凡事都应量力而行。

53)A man cannot spin and reel at the same time.

一心不能二用。

54)A man is known by his friends.

什么人交什么朋友。

55)A man of words and not of deeds is like a garden full of weeds. 光说空话不做事，犹如花园光长刺。

56)A man without money is no man at all.

一分钱难倒英雄汉。

57)A merry heart goes all the way.

心旷神怡，事事顺利。

58) A miss is as good as a mile.

失之毫厘，差之千里。

59)A mother's love never changes.

母爱永恒。

60)An apple a day keeps the doctor away.

一天一苹果，不用请医生。

61) A new broom sweeps clean.

新官上任三把火。

62) An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.

以眼还眼，以牙还牙。

63) An hour in the morning is worth two in the evening.一日之计在于晨。

64) An old dog cannot learn new tricks.

老狗学不出新把戏。

65) An ounce of luck is better than a pound of wisdom. 聪明才智，不如运气。

66) An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.

预防为主，治疗为辅。

67) A rolling stone gathers no moss.

滚石不生苔，转业不聚财。

68) As a man sows, so he shall reap.

种瓜得瓜，种豆得豆。

69) A single flower does not make a spring.

一花独放不是春，百花齐放春满园。

70)A snow year, a rich year.

瑞雪兆丰年。

71) A sound mind in a sound body.

健全的精神寓于健康的身体。

72) A still tongue makes a wise head.

寡言者智。

73) A stitch in time saves nine.

小洞不补，大洞吃苦。

74) A straight foot is not afraid of a crooked shoe.

身正不怕影子斜。

75) A wise head makes a close mouth.

真人不露相，露相非真人。

76) A word spoken is past recalling.

一言既出，驷马难追。

77) A year's plan starts with spring.

一年之计在于春。

78) A young idler, an old beggar.

少壮不努力，老大徒伤悲。

79) Bad news has wings.

好事不出门，坏事传千里。

80) Barking dogs seldom bite.

吠犬不咬人.

81) Beauty lies in the love's eyes.

情人眼里出西施。

82) Be swift to hear, slow to speak.

听宜敏捷，言宜缓行。

83) Better late than never.

不怕慢，单怕站。

84) Better to ask the way than go astray.

问路总比迷路好。

85) Between friends all is common.

朋友之间不分彼此。

86) Birds of a feather flock together.

物以类聚，人以群分。

87) Blood is thicker than water.

血浓于水。

88) Blood will have blood.

血债血偿。

89) Books and friends should be few but good.

读书如交友，应求少而精。

90) Business is business.

公事公办。

91) Business is the salt of life.

事业是人生的第一需要。

92) By reading we eich the mind, by conversation we polish it.读书使人充实，交谈使人精明。

93) Cannot see the wood for the trees.

关于幽默的英语作文篇三：英文幽默笑话

1.猫和老鼠

——Mrs Brown went to

visit one of her friend and

carried a small box with

holes punched in the top.

——" What's in your

box?" asked the friend.

——"A cat," answered Mrs Brown. "You see I've been dreaming about mice at night and I'm so scared! This cat is to catch them."

—— "But the mice are only imaginary," said the friend.

——"So is the cat," whispered Mrs Brown.

布朗夫人去拜访一位朋友，她拿着一个顶部扎满了小眼儿的盒子。“盒子里装的是什么？”朋友问道。“一只小猫，”布朗夫人回答说，“你知道我晚上睡觉总梦见老鼠，我非常害怕。这只猫可以抓住那些老鼠。”“可老鼠都是假想的呀。”朋友说。“小猫也是假想的。”布朗夫人小声说道。

2.Reached Shore Fast 快速靠岸

A guy I know was

towing his boat home

from a fishing trip to Lake

Huron when his car broke

down. He didn't have his cell phone with him, but he thought maybe he might be able

to

raise someone on his marine radio to call for roadside assistance. He climbed into his boat, clicked on the radio and said, "Mayday, mayday." A Coast Guard officer came on and said, "State your location.""I-75, two miles south of Standish." After a very long pause, the officer asked, "How fast were you going when you reached shore?"

在休伦湖钓完鱼后，我的一个朋友开车拖着他的船回家。路上车坏了。他没带手机，不过，他想，也许他可以通过海事无线广播来请求公路援助。于是，他爬到他的船里面，启动了无线装置，喊道，“求救，求救”。一名海岸护卫队警官作出了回应，“报告你的位置”。“I-75号公路，Standish的南面两英里”。沉默了好一会之后，警官问我的朋友，“你的船靠岸时开得有多快？”

3.The Mean Man's Party

吝啬鬼的聚会

The notorious cheap

skate finally decided to

have a party. Explaining to

a friend how to find his

apartment, he said, "Come up to the fifth floor

and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot."

"Why use my elbow and foot?"

"Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-handed, are you?"

一个声名狼藉的小气鬼终于决定要请一次客了。他在向一个朋友解释怎么找到他家时说：“你上到五楼，用你的胳膊肘按门铃。门开了后，再用你的脚把门推开。”“为什么我要用我的肘和脚呢？”

“天哪！” 吝啬鬼回答，“你总不会空着手来吧？”

4.Talking clock 会说话的钟

——While proudly showing off

his new apartment to friends, a

college student led the way into

the den. "What is thebig brass

gong and hammer for?" one of

his friends asked. "That is the talking clock," the man replied. "How's it work?"

——"Watch," the man said and proceeded to give the gong an ear shattering pound with the hammer. Suddenly, someone screamed

from

the other side of the wall, "Knock it off, you idiot! It's two o'clock in the morning!"

一个学生带他朋友们参观他的新公寓，甚是得意。“那个大铜锣和锤子是干什么用的？”他的一个朋友问他。“那玩意儿厉害了，那是一个会说话的钟”，学生回答。“这钟怎么工作的”，他的朋友问。“看着，别眨眼了”，那学生走上前一把操起铜锣和锤子，拼命地敲了一下，声音震耳欲聋。突然，他们听到隔壁墙那边有人狂叫，“别敲了，你这白痴！现在是凌晨两点钟了！”

5.那就更糟了 Much Worse

----Policeman: Why

didn't you shout for

help when you were

robbed of your watch?

----Man: If I had opened my mouth, they'd have found my four gold teeth. That would be much worse.

警察：有人抢你的手表时，你为什么不呼救呢？

男子：要是我张口的话，他们就会发现我的四颗金牙。那就更糟了。

6.需要推一下吗

Need a push?

——A man is in bed asleep

with his wife when there is

a rat- a-tat-tat on the door.

——He rolls over and looks

at his clock, and it's half

past three in the morning. "I'm not getting out of bed at this time", he thinks, and rolls over. ——Then, a louder knock follows. "Aren't you going to answer that?" says his wife.

——So he drags himself out of bed, and goes downstairs.

——He opens the door and there is man standing there. It didn't take the homeowner long to realize the man was drunk.

——"Hi there." slurs the stranger, "Can you give me a push??"

——"No, get lost(走开!), it's half past three. I was in bed." says the man and slams the door. ——He goes back up to bed and tells his wife what happened and she says "Dave, that wasn't very nice of you. Rememberthat night

we broke down on the pouring rain on the way

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