愚人节的笑话

愚人节的笑话篇一：愚人节笑话：伊拉克战争

1、白宫记者招待会上：

布什先生，您有伊拉克拥有大规模杀伤性武器的证据吗?

有，我们保留了伊拉克当初买军火时开的支票。

2、美国人是多么富于进取精神!萨达姆一宣布对炸死美军士兵的人予以重奖，他们马上就开始自相残杀。

3、布什对美国人民说：我们的飞机和平地轰炸他们的城市，敌人却阴险地进行了攻击。

4、布什紧急召开其军事顾问：你为什么不在战前警告我，在伊拉克除了沙漠之外还有城市?

5、英国拘捕俄罗斯金融寡头别列佐夫斯基，是为了后者为继续伊拉克战争提供资金。

6、我真的不明白，为什么布什要和英国交战，却偏偏选中了伊拉克这块地方?

7、您还相信国际法?您还不知道什么叫民主?您还在自力更生开采石油?那么，我们飞过去帮助你们!

8、英美联军宣称已攻下乌姆盖斯尔城这已经是开战之来的第四座被联军攻下的乌姆盖斯尔城了。

9、击落美国飞机的伊拉克农民在接受采访时说：飞机就在我的头顶上飞：我瞄准、射击，便击落了它!又飞过来一架飞机，我瞄准、射击，又把它打掉下来了。但是后来我枪里没子弹了，可是飞机还在飞呀飞呀!

10、据后来通讯社报道，美国飞机投下了一枚核弹头落入英军基地。据美国五角大楼和英国国防部的高级官员透露，有七名英国军人在这次意外事故中受伤。

11、五角大楼的军事分析家证实，战争将不会持续很长时间如果伊拉克人停止参与这场战争的话。

愚人节的笑话篇二：愚人节英语笑话

愚人节英语笑话

1. why are people tired on april fool's day? (愚人节人们为什么疲倦?)

答：because they have just had a long march. ( 因为他们刚过了长长的三月。march 三月;行军)

2.what weather do mice and rats fear? (老鼠害怕什么天气?)

答：when it's raining cats and dogs.(下大雨。rain cats and dogs 下大雨 )

3.when do dogs refuse to follow their masters? (狗什么时候不愿跟随主人?)

答：when their masters go to the flea market.(主人去跳蚤市场时。flea 跳蚤 flea market 旧货市场 )

4.what question can never be answered by “yes”? (哪个问题永远不能回答“是的”?)

答：are you asleep? (你睡着了吗)

5.what tree is always very sad? (那种树总是很伤心?)

答：weeping willow. ( 垂柳 weep哭泣 willow柳树)

6.when can you get water with a net? (什么时候可以用网兜装水?) 答：when water is turned into ice. (当水结成冰时)

7.why is the pig always eating?猪为什么没完没了地吃?

答：he's making a hog of himself.它想成为一只肉猪。

8.what's the longest word in the world?世界上最长的单词是什么? 答：smiles. because there's a mile between the letter 's'.微笑。因为两个字母s中间隔了一里。

9.what question is that to which you must always answer "yes"? 什么问题你只能回答“yes”?

答："what does y-e-s spell?" (当别人问你)“yes”怎么拼?

10.where were you when the power was cut off? 当停电的时候你在哪? 答：in the darkness. 在黑暗中

愚人节的笑话篇三：十个愚人节经典英文笑话 免费下载

The Swiss Spaghetti Harvest

瑞士面条树

spaghetti harvest1957: The respected BBC news show Panorama announced that thanks to a very mild winter and the virtual elimination of the dreaded

spaghetti weevil, Swiss farmers were enjoying a bumper spaghetti crop. It accompanied this announcement with footage of Swiss peasants pulling strands of spaghetti down from trees. Huge numbers of viewers were taken in. Many called the BBC wanting to know how they could grow their own spaghetti tree. To this the BBC

diplomatically replied, "place a sprig of spaghetti in a tin of tomato sauce and hope for the best."

1957年愚人节BBC新闻中说，瑞士的面条树大丰收，农民都在树上收割面条。大量观众上当受骗，打电话来咨询面条树的种植方法。BBC对此的回复是：把一根面条插在番茄酱里，然后就等着吧。

小编点评：面条树都有人信，不知道摇钱树有没有人信？

Sidd Finch

虚拟棒球天才

Sidd Finch1985: Sports Illustrated published a story about a new rookie pitcher who planned to play for the Mets. His name was Sidd Finch, and he could reportedly throw a baseball at 168 mph with pinpoint accuracy. This was 65 mph faster than the previous record. Surprisingly, Sidd Finch had never even played the game before. Instead, he had mastered the "art of the pitch" in a Tibetan monastery under the guidance of the "great poet-saint Lama Milaraspa." Mets fans celebrated their teams' amazing luck at having found such a gifted player, and Sports Illustrated was flooded with requests for more information. In reality this legendary player only existed in the imagination of the author of the article, George Plimpton。

1985年愚人节，运动画刊杂志发布一条假消息，称一个名为Sidd Finch的新人棒球投球手，能投出168mph时速的球，比当时记录高出65mph；而且这位

新人之前都没有玩过棒球！他在一个西藏的寺庙里学会了投球的艺术。大批棒球粉丝因此被骗。其实这个只是文章作者瞎编的。

小编点评：要在中国，你说男足出了一个天才，谁信？

Instant Color TV

即时彩色电视

image1962: In 1962 there was only one tv channel in Sweden, and it broadcast in black and white. The

station's technical expert, Kjell Stensson, appeared on the news to announce that, thanks to a new technology, viewers could convert their existing sets to display color reception. All they had to do was pull a nylon stocking over their tv screen. Stensson proceeded to demonstrate the process. Thousands of people were taken in. Regular color broadcasts only commenced in Sweden on April 1, 1970.

1962年愚人节，当时瑞典还只有一个电视频道，

而且是黑白的。电视台的技术人员当天在新闻中说，彩色电视已经研发成功，用户只需拿一双尼龙袜盖在电视屏幕上就行。还真有人信了。

小编点评：我如果说，沪江网全面升级，成为全球第一家3D网站，你们信么？

The Taco Liberty Bell

塔可自由钟

Taco Liberty Bell1996: The Taco Bell Corporation announced it had bought the Liberty Bell and was

renaming it the Taco Liberty Bell. Hundreds of outraged citizens called the National Historic Park in Philadelphia where the bell was housed to express their anger. Their nerves were only calmed when Taco Bell revealed, a few hours later, that it was all a practical joke. The best line of the day came when White House press secretary Mike McCurry was asked about the sale. Thinking on his feet, he responded that the Lincoln Memorial had also been sold. It would now be known, he said, as the Ford Lincoln Mercury Memorial。

1996年愚人节，塔可钟快餐公司说他们买下了美国费城独立厅的大钟，并重命名为塔可自由钟。愤怒的市民打电话给费城的国家历史公园，要求确认这个消息。几小时后塔可钟快餐公司承认这只是个玩笑。当天最乌龙的事件(来自:WwW.ZHaOqt.nEt 蒲公英文 摘:愚人节的笑话)还不在此。白宫记者会秘书Mike McCurry被问到这件事时，随机应变回答说，林肯纪念碑也被卖了，现在被命名为福特水星汽车纪念碑。

小编点评：这位秘书真有娱乐精神。咱也可以说，张家界的“哈利路亚”山被外星人收购了……

San Serriffe

虚拟国家

image1977: The British newspaper The Guardian published a special seven-page supplement devoted to San Serriffe, a small republic said to consist of several semi-colon-shaped islands located in the Indian Ocean. A series of articles affectionately described the geography and culture of this obscure nation. Its two main islands were named Upper Caisse and Lower Caisse. Its capital

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