英语小笑话带翻译

英语小笑话带翻译篇一：英语小笑话(带翻译))

1 Boy: Is this seat empty? Girl: Yes and this one will be if you sit down. 男孩：这个座位是空的么？ 女孩：是的，如果你坐下，我的座位也将是空的。 2，Boy: Can I buy you a drink? Girl: Actually I'd rather have the money. 男孩：我可以给你买杯饮料吗？ 女孩：你不如直接把钱给我得了。 3. My little dog can't read Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog! Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers! Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read. 我的狗不识字 布朗夫人：哦， 亲爱的，我把珍爱的小狗给丢了！ 史密斯夫人：可是你该在报纸上登广告啊！ 布朗夫人：没有用的，我的小狗不认识字。 ” 4.反正我太太明天会来换的My Wife Will Exchange ThemA gentleman walks into a store and asked for a pair of gloves. ″Cloth or leather﹖″ asked the salesperson. ″Makes no difference ? ″replied customer. ″What color﹖″ asked the clerk. ″Any″ he responded. ″Size﹖″ ″Give me whatever you prefer″ the gentleman said slightly exasperated. ″My wife will be back tomorrow t o exchange them.″ 反正我太太明天会来换的 一位先生走进一家商店要买副手套。 “您是要布的还是皮的？”售货员问。

“没什么区别。”这位顾客回答。 “那您要什么颜色的呢？”售货员又问。 “什么颜色都成。”他回答。 “号码呢？” “您就随便给我拿一副吧，”这位顾客有点不耐烦了，“反正我太太明天都会来换的。”5.A physics Examination Once in a physics examination, Nick finished the first question very soon, while his class mates were thinking it hard. The question was: When it thunders why do we see the lighting first, then hear the thund er rolls? Nick‘s answer: Because our eyes are before ears. 一次物理考试 在一次物理考试时，当同学们都还在苦思冥想时，尼克很快就答好了第一个问题。 这个问题是：为什么在打雷时，我们总是先看到闪电后听到雷声？ 尼克的回答是：因为眼睛在前，耳朵在后。 6. Jim’s History Examination Uncle: How did Jim do in his history examination? Mother: Oh, not at all well, but there, it wasn't his fault. They asked him things that happened before the poor boy was born. 吉姆的历史考试 舅舅：吉姆这孩子历史考得怎么样？ 母亲：唉，糟透了。可话又说回来，这也不能怪他。嗨，他们尽问一些这个可怜的孩子出生 前的事儿。 7.he is really somebody -- My uncle has 1000 men under him. -- He is really somebody. What does he do?

-- A maintenance man in a cemetery. 他真是一个大人物 -- 我叔叔下面有 1000 个人。 -- 他真是一个大人物。干什么的？ -- 墓地守墓人。 8 I Have His Ear in My Pocket Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?" "A kid bit me," replied Ivan. "Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother. "I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket." 他的耳朵在我衣兜里 伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问，“发生了什么事？” “一个男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡说。 “再见到他你能认出来吗？”妈妈问。 “他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说。“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢。” 9 Three-year-old boy took a three-year-old girl's hand and said: "I love you." The little girl said: "can you get me for the future?" The little boy said: "of course can, we're not one or two years old!" 一个三岁小男孩拉着一个三岁小女孩的手说：“我爱你。”小女孩说：“你能为我的未来负责 吗？”小男孩说：“当然能，我们都不是一两岁的人了！ 10. Bedtime Prayers Julie was saying her bedtime prayers. "Please God," she said, "Make Naples the capital of Italy. Make Naples the capital of Italy." Her mother interrupted and said, "Julie, why do you want God to make Naples the capital of Italy?" And Julie replied, "Because that/’s what I put in my geography exam!" 睡前祷告词 朱莉叶在做睡前祷告。“祷告上帝，”她说，“让那不勒斯成为意大利的首都吧。让那不勒斯 成为意大利的首都吧。” 妈妈打断她说：“朱莉叶，你为什么求上帝让那不勒斯成为意大利的首都呢？” 朱莉叶回答说：“因为我在地理考卷上是这么写的。”

英语小笑话带翻译篇二：短篇英语笑话10则带翻译

短篇英语笑话10则带翻译

① Goldfish金鱼

Stan: I won 92 goldfish.

Fred: Where are you going to keep them?

Stan: In the bathroom 。

Fred: But what will you do when you want to take a bath?

Stan: Blindfold（蒙眼睛） them!

=================================================================== 斯(来自:WWw.zHaoqT.net 蒲公 英文 摘:英语小笑话带翻译)丹：我赢了 92 条金鱼。

弗雷德：你想在哪儿养它们？

斯丹：浴室。

弗雷德：但是你想洗澡时怎么办？

斯丹：蒙住它们的眼睛！

② The Revenge 欺骗的代价

Old Farmer Johnson was dying. The family was standing around his bed. With a low voice he said to his wife: "When I'm dead I want you to marry farmer Jones." Wife: "No, I can't marry anyone after you." Johnson: "But I want you to." Wife: "But why?" Johnson: "Jones once cheated me in a horse deal!"

=================================================================== 老农约翰逊就要死了。他的家人都站在床边。他声音低沉地对妻子说：“我死后，我想你嫁给农夫琼斯。” 妻子说：“不，在你死后，我不能嫁给任何人。” 约翰逊：“但我希望你这么做。” 妻子：“为什么？” 约翰逊：“因为琼斯曾在一笔贩马的交易中欺骗了我。”

③ I think that I'm a chicken 我想我是一只鸡

Psychiatrist: What's your problem?

Patient: I think I'm a chicken.

Psychiatrist: How long has this been going on?

Patient: Ever since I was an egg!

=================================================================== 精神病医师：你哪里不舒服？

病人：我认为我是一只鸡。

精神病医师：这种情况从什么时候开始的？

病人：从我还是一只蛋的时候开始。

④ How do I get the gum out我怎么把口香糖取出来

Distributing chewing gum to the passengers, the stewardess explained it was to keep their ears from popping. When the plane landed, one of the passengers rushed up to her and said, "I'm meeting my wife right away. How do I get the gum out from my ears?"

===================================================================

当空中小姐给乘客们发口香糖的时候，她解释说口香糖有助于他们防止耳鸣。飞机着陆后，一位乘客跑到这位空中小姐面前，说道：“ 我马上就要见到我妻子了。我怎么才能把口香糖从耳朵里面取出来呢？”

⑤ Where Am I 我在哪儿

An Englishman lost his way while he was driving in the countryside. He saw a farmer working in the field nearby, so he went nearer in his car and asked the farmer, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?" "Yes, " the farmer looked at him strangely and said, "you are in your car, sir." =================================================================

一个英国人在乡下开车时迷了路，他看见一个农民正在附近的地里干活。于是他就把车开过去问那位农民：“劳驾，您能告诉我我现在这是在哪儿吗？” “可以。”农夫奇怪地看了看他，然后说道：“你现在在你的车子里，先生。”

⑥ Why do you never phone me?你为什么不给我打电话？

Mrs Harris lives in a small village. Her husband is dead, but she has one son. He is twenty-one and his name is Geoff. He worked in the shop in the village and lived with his mother, but then he got work in a town and went ant lived there. Its name was Greensea. It was quite a long way from his mother's village, and she was not happy about this, but Geoff said, "There isn't any good work for me in the country, Mother, and I can get a lot of money in Greensea and send you some every week." Mrs Harris was very angry last Sunday. She got in a train and went to her son's house in Greensea. Then she said to him, "Geoff, why do you never phone me?" Geoff laughed. "But, Mother", he said, "you haven't got a phone." "No," she answered, "I haven't, but YOU'VE got one!"

====================================================================== 我会告诉你这篇没有中文翻译吗。。。

⑦ The Same Action Yields the Same Result相同的投资相同的结果

A couple of hunters chartered a small plane to fly them to a forest, and made an appointment with the pilot to come back and fetch them in about two weeks. At the end of the two weeks, they had shot a lot of animals that they wanted to load onto the plane. But the pilot said, "This plane won't be able to take more than one wild buffalo. You'll have to leave the others behind." Then the hunters protested, saying, "But last year, another pilot with the same airplane let us take two buffalos and some other animals in the plane as well." So the new pilot thought about it. He was a little bit skeptical, but finally he said, "OK, since you did it last year, I guess this year we can do it again." Then he loaded the two buffalos and a few other animals in, and the plane took off. Five minutes later, it crashed in a neighboring area. The three men climbed out and looked around, and one hunter said to the other, "Where do you think we are now?" The second one surveyed the area and said, "I think we're about one mile to the left of the place we crashed last year."

====================================================================== 有两个猎人包机前往一座森林，到了以后，他们和飞行员约定好两周后来接。两周后，他们射了许多动物，而且打算把这些动物全部搬上那架小飞机，可是飞行员说：“这架飞机除了

一头野牛外，没办法再多载了。你们必须把其他的猎物都留下。” 猎人说：“但是去年另一个飞行员开一样的飞机，就让我们带两只水牛，还有一些其他的动物上机！” 因为他们这样抗议，所以那个新飞行员想了一想后，尽管还是有点存疑，最后还是妥协说：“好吧！如果去年可以做到，今年应该也可以。”所以他装了两头水牛和一些其他的动物。结果飞机起飞五分钟后，就坠落在邻近的地方。这3个人从飞机爬出来看了看四周，其中一个猎人对另一个说：“你认为我们现在在哪儿？” 那个人瞧了一下，说：“我想大概距离去年坠机的地方西边一英哩远！”

⑧ Chief is at the wedding 长官在婚礼上

A police stopped a motorist who was speeding on the street.

"But officer," the man said, "I can explain."

"Just be quiet," snapped the officer."I'm going to put you in jail until the chief gets back."

"But ,officer, I …."

"I said to keep quiet! You are going to jail!"

A few hours later, the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, "You are lucky because the chief is at his daughter's wedding. He'll be in a good mood when he gets back." "Are you sure?" answered the man in the cell. "I'm the groom."

====================================================================== 大街上的一个超速驾驶者被警察拦住了。“但是警官”这个人说道，“我可以解释的”。 “保持安静”，警察突然说道。“我将把你送往监狱，直到长官回来。“但是，警察，我，，，”。 “我说过了保持安静，你要到监狱了。”几小时后，警察向监狱里看了看说道“算你运气好，因为我们的长官正在他女儿的婚礼上。他将带着一个愉快的心情回来的。” “你确定”在牢房里的这个人说道。“我就是新郎呀”。

⑨ Who Is the Laziest 谁最懒

Father: Well, Tom, I asked to your teacher today, and now I want to ask you a question. Who is the laziest person in your class?

Tom: I don't know, father.

Father: Oh, yes, you do! Think! When other boys and girls are doing and writing, who sits in the class and only watches how other people work?

Tom: Our teacher, father.

====================================================================== 父亲：哎，汤姆，今天我跟你们老师谈过，现在我想问你个问题。你们班上谁最懒？汤姆：我不知道，爸爸。父亲：啊，不对，你知道！想想看，当别的孩子们都在做作业、写字时，谁在课堂上坐着，只是看人家做功课？汤姆：我们老师，爸爸。

⑩ Two Birds 两只鸟

Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?

Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.

Teacher: Please tell us.

Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.

====================================================================== 老师： 这儿有两只鸟，一只是麻雀。谁能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀吗？学生：我指不出，但我知道答案。老师：请说说看。学生：燕子旁边的就是麻雀，麻雀旁边的就是燕子。

英语小笑话带翻译篇三：英语小笑话 带翻译

One day a person meet god ... ...

God suddenly decide to give the man a wish ... ...

God asked ... ...

What wishes do you have ... ...

The man thinking ... ...

Heard that cats have9 lives ... ...

Would you please give me9 lives ... ...

God said ... ...

Your wish come true ... ...

One day, the boring ... Want to say one death to die ... ...

There are9 life lying on the tracks ... ...

The results of a train in the past ... ...

The man was dead ... ...

Why is this?

Because the train compartment having10day ... ...

有个人一天碰到上帝......

上帝突然大发善心打算给那人一个愿望......

上帝问......

你有什么愿望吗......

那个人想了想......

听说猫都有9条命......

那请您赐给我9条命吧......

上帝说...... 你的愿望实现咯......

一天，那个人闲来无聊...... 想说去死一死算了......

反正有9条命嘛 就躺在铁轨上......

结果一辆火车开过去......

那人还是死了......

这是为什么呢？

因为那列火车的车厢有10节......

Music class the teacher played a Beethoven song

Xiao Ming asked her:" do you understand music?"

Xiaohua:" yes"

Xiao Ming:" you know what teachers do in the shells?"

Xiaohua:" piano."

音乐课上 老师弹了一首贝多芬的曲子

小明问小华：“你懂音乐吗？”

小华：“是的”

小明：“那你知道老师在弹什麼吗？”

小华: “钢琴。”

Traveler: Can I catch the three o'clock train to Toronto?

Ticket agent: That depends on how fast you can run. It left fifteen minutes ago.

旅行者：我还能赶上3点钟那班到多伦多的火车吗？

售票员：那得看你跑得有多快。火车15分钟前开出。

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