简单的英语笑话翻译

简单的英语笑话翻译篇一：看笑话学英语笑话大全爆笑翻译

1.One day a visitor from the city came to a small rural area to drive around the country roads, see how the farms looked, and perhaps to see how farmers earned their living. The city man saw a farmer in his yard, holding a pig up in his hands, and lifting it so that the pig could eat apples from an apple tree. The city man said to the farmer," I see that your pig likes apples, but isn"t that quite a waste of time?" The farmer replied," What"s time to a pig?"

一天，有一个城市里的游客来到一个小乡村，在乡间路上开着车，想看看农庄是什么样子，也想看看农夫怎样种田过日子。这位城里人看见一位农夫在宅后的草地 上，手中抱着一头猪，并把它举得高高的，好让它能够吃到树上的苹果。城里人对农夫说，"我看你的猪挺喜欢吃苹果的，但是，这不是很浪费时间吗?"那位农夫 回答说，"时间对猪有什么意义?"

2.The Looney Bin

Late one night at the insane asylum (疯人院）one inmate shouted, "I am Napoleon!”Another one said, "How do you know?"

The first inmate said, "God told me!"

Just then, a voice from another room shouted, "I did not!"

疯人院

一天晚上，在疯人院里，一个病人说：“我是拿破仑！”另一个说：“你怎么知道？”第一个人说：“上帝对我说的！”一会儿，一个声音从另一个房间传来：“我没说！”

Notes:

（1）Looney (俚语）疯子

（2）inmate （n.同住者, 同室者(特指在医院、监狱)）

（3）insane asylum (疯人院）

3.Boxing and Running

Dan is teaching his son how to box. As he does so, he left his friend, "This is a tough world, so I’m teaching my boy to fight." Friend: "But suppose he comes up against someone much bigger than he is, who’s also been taught how to box."

Dan: "I’m teaching him how to run, too."

拳击和赛跑

丹在教他的儿子怎样拳击。他告诉他的朋友：“这是一个粗暴的世界，所以我要教我的儿子怎么去拼搏。”

朋友：“如果他碰上的对手是一个比他高大，健壮而且也会拳击的人怎么办？”

丹：“我也会教他怎么样赛跑呢。”

NOTE

come up against 遇到一个对手 against表示相对的相反的

4.The warden of the prison felt sorry for one of his inmates because every weekend on Visitor’s Day, most of the prisoners had family members and friends coming, but poor George always sat alone in his cell.

So one Visitor’s Day, the warden called George to his office and said, "I notice you’ve never had any visitors, George." Sympathetic, he put his hand on George’s shoulder. "Tell me, don’t you have any friends or family?"

George replied, "Oh, sure I do, Warden. It’s just that they’re all in here!"

典狱长对狱中一位囚犯深感同情，因为每逢周末的探访日，大多数囚犯都有家人或朋友来访，但是可怜的乔治总是孤伶伶地坐在自己的囚室中。

因此在一个探访日，典狱长把乔治叫到办公室说：“乔治，我注意到从来没有人来探望过你。”他满怀同情地把手放在乔治的肩膀上：“告诉我，你没有任何朋友或家人吗？”

乔治回答：“喔！当然有，典狱长，只不过他们全都在这里面！”

5.Policeman: Why didn't you shout for help when you were robbed of(来自:www.zhaoQt.NeT 蒲公英文摘:简单的英语笑话翻译) your watch?

Man: If I had opened my mouth, they'd have found my four gold teeth. That would be much worse.

警察：有人抢你的手表时，你为什么不呼救呢？

男子：要是我张口的话，他们就会发现我的四颗金牙。那就更糟了。

6.A shoplifter（商店扒手）51kxh.cn |was caught red-handed trying to steal a watch from a jewelry store. "Listen," said the shoplifter, "I know you don't want any trouble either. What do you say I just buy the watch, and we forget about this?"

The manager agreed and wrote up the sales slip. The crook（骗子，坏蛋） looked at the slip and said, "This is a little more than I intended to spend."

一个小偷在一家珠宝店企图偷走一只手表的时候被当场擒获。“听着，”小偷说，“我知道你们也不想惹麻烦。我把这只表买下，然后我们就当什么也没发生，你看怎样？”

经理表示同意，然后列了一张售货单。小偷看着单子说道：“这比我最初的预算稍稍高了一点，你们还有没有便宜一点儿东西。"

7.The suspicious-looking man drove up to the border, where he was greeted by asentry（哨兵） . When the guard looked in the trunk, he was surprised to find six sacks bulging at the seams（缝合线） . [来自我要看笑话51kxh.cn]

"What's in here?" he asked.

"Dirt," the driver replied.

"Take them out," the guard instructed. "I want to check them."

Obliging, the man removed the bags, and sure enough, each one of them contained nothing but dirt. Reluctantly, the guard let him go.

A week later the man came back, and once again, the sentry looked in the truck.

"What's in the bags this time?" he asked.

"Dirt, more dirt." said the man.

Not believing him, the guard checked the sacks and, once again, he found nothing but soil.

The same thing happened every week for six months, and it finally became so frustrating to the guard that he quit and became a bartender（酒保） .

简单的英语笑话翻译篇二：10个经典英语笑话(带中文对照)

10个经典英语笑话(带中文对照).txt如果青春的时光在闲散中度过，那么回忆岁月将是一场凄凉的悲剧。杂草多的地方庄稼少，空话多的地方智慧少。即使路上没有花朵，我仍可以欣赏荒芜。Jack feell off his bicycle and got hurt. A beautiful young nurse asked him to fill forms. Jack finished them and gave them back."Anything else?" The nurse asked. "Yes,"Jack thinks for a while and said,"I'm a bachelor."杰克骑车摔伤,得住院治疗.一位年轻美貌的护士拿着表格让填.仞杰克填好递上表格"还有什么漏填的?"护士问. "有!"杰克想了想说,"我是个单身汉."Wife:You see.According to te statistics on thepaper,80% of those who have died of liver cancer have drunk alcohol.Husband:It's okey. To my investigation,all Thespeopleeat meals.妻子:你看这张报纸,据统计,死于肝癌的人80%都是喝酒的.丈夫:那有什么?据我调查,死予肝癌的人100%都吃饭的."Excuse me,but the seat you've taken is mine.""Yours?Can you prove it?""Yes,I put a cup of ice cream on it.""请原谅,你占了我的位置.""你的位置?你能征明这点吗?""能,我在位置上放了杯冰激凌."One day,Eve asked Adam,"Doyou really love me?"Adam said helplessly,"Do I have any other choice?"一天,夏娃问亚当:"你当真爱我吗?"亚当无可奈何地回答:"我还有的选择吗?"Always Thirsty"I had an operation," said a man to his friend, "and the doctor left a sponge in me.""That"s terrible!" said the friend. "Got any pain?""No, but I am always thirsty!"总感到口渴一个男人对他的朋友说：“我动了一次手术，手术后医生把一块海绵忘在我的身体里了。”“真是太糟糕了！”朋友说道：“你觉得疼吗？”“不疼，可是我总感到口渴。”A Useful WayFather: Jack, why do you drink so much water?Jack: I have just had an apple, Dad.Father: What"s that got to do with it?Jack: I forgot to wash the apple.一个有效的方法爸爸：杰克，你干嘛喝这么多水呀？杰克：我刚才吃了个苹果，爸爸。爸爸：可是这跟喝水有什么关系呢？杰克：我忘了洗苹果呀。A PresentKate: Mom, do you know what I"m going to give you for your birthday?Mom: No, Honey, what?Kate: A nice teapot.Mom: But I"ve got a nice teapot.Kate: No, you haven"t. I"ve just dropped it.凯特的礼物凯特：妈妈，你知道我要给你一件什么生日礼物吗？妈妈：不知道，宝贝，是什么呀？凯特：一把漂亮的茶壶。妈妈：可是我已经有一把漂亮的茶壶了呀。凯特：不，你没有了。我刚刚把它给摔了。The Doctor Knows BetterA man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the hospital.His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: "I think that he is very ill.""I am afraid that he is dead." said the doctor.Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: "I"m not dead. I"m still alive.""Be quiet, " said the wife. "the doctor knows better than you!"医生懂得多一个男人在街上被出租车撞倒送进了医院。他的妻子站在他的床前对医生说：“我想他伤得很厉害。”医生说：“恐怕他已经死了。”听到医生的话，这个男人转动着头说：“我没死，我还活着。”妻子说：“安静，医生比你懂得多。”Waste or Save?Father: Oh, Jack, you have slept away the whole morning. Don"t you know you are wasting time?Jack: Yes, Dad. But I"ve saved you a meal, haven" I?浪费还是节约父亲：噢，杰克，你又睡了一上午。难道你不知道你这是在浪费时间吗？杰克：我知道，爸爸。可我还给您节省了一顿饭呢，是不是？Why Is He HowlingDentist: Please stop howling. I haven"t even touched your tooth yet.Patient: I know, but you are standing on my foot!他为什么喊牙医：请你不要再喊了！我还没碰你的牙呢。病人：我知道，可是你正踩着我的脚呀！

简单的英语笑话翻译篇三：英语小笑话(带翻译))

1 Boy: Is this seat empty? Girl: Yes and this one will be if you sit down. 男孩：这个座位是空的么？ 女孩：是的，如果你坐下，我的座位也将是空的。 2，Boy: Can I buy you a drink? Girl: Actually I'd rather have the money. 男孩：我可以给你买杯饮料吗？ 女孩：你不如直接把钱给我得了。 3. My little dog can't read Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog! Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers! Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read. 我的狗不识字 布朗夫人：哦， 亲爱的，我把珍爱的小狗给丢了！ 史密斯夫人：可是你该在报纸上登广告啊！ 布朗夫人：没有用的，我的小狗不认识字。 ” 4.反正我太太明天会来换的My Wife Will Exchange ThemA gentleman walks into a store and asked for a pair of gloves. ″Cloth or leather﹖″ asked the salesperson. ″Makes no difference ? ″replied customer. ″What color﹖″ asked the clerk. ″Any″ he responded. ″Size﹖″ ″Give me whatever you prefer″ the gentleman said slightly exasperated. ″My wife will be back tomorrow t o exchange them.″ 反正我太太明天会来换的 一位先生走进一家商店要买副手套。 “您是要布的还是皮的？”售货员问。

“没什么区别。”这位顾客回答。 “那您要什么颜色的呢？”售货员又问。 “什么颜色都成。”他回答。 “号码呢？” “您就随便给我拿一副吧，”这位顾客有点不耐烦了，“反正我太太明天都会来换的。”5.A physics Examination Once in a physics examination, Nick finished the first question very soon, while his class mates were thinking it hard. The question was: When it thunders why do we see the lighting first, then hear the thund er rolls? Nick‘s answer: Because our eyes are before ears. 一次物理考试 在一次物理考试时，当同学们都还在苦思冥想时，尼克很快就答好了第一个问题。 这个问题是：为什么在打雷时，我们总是先看到闪电后听到雷声？ 尼克的回答是：因为眼睛在前，耳朵在后。 6. Jim’s History Examination Uncle: How did Jim do in his history examination? Mother: Oh, not at all well, but there, it wasn't his fault. They asked him things that happened before the poor boy was born. 吉姆的历史考试 舅舅：吉姆这孩子历史考得怎么样？ 母亲：唉，糟透了。可话又说回来，这也不能怪他。嗨，他们尽问一些这个可怜的孩子出生 前的事儿。 7.he is really somebody -- My uncle has 1000 men under him. -- He is really somebody. What does he do?

-- A maintenance man in a cemetery. 他真是一个大人物 -- 我叔叔下面有 1000 个人。 -- 他真是一个大人物。干什么的？ -- 墓地守墓人。 8 I Have His Ear in My Pocket Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?" "A kid bit me," replied Ivan. "Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother. "I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket." 他的耳朵在我衣兜里 伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问，“发生了什么事？” “一个男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡说。 “再见到他你能认出来吗？”妈妈问。 “他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说。“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢。” 9 Three-year-old boy took a three-year-old girl's hand and said: "I love you." The little girl said: "can you get me for the future?" The little boy said: "of course can, we're not one or two years old!" 一个三岁小男孩拉着一个三岁小女孩的手说：“我爱你。”小女孩说：“你能为我的未来负责 吗？”小男孩说：“当然能，我们都不是一两岁的人了！ 10. Bedtime Prayers Julie was saying her bedtime prayers. "Please God," she said, "Make Naples the capital of Italy. Make Naples the capital of Italy." Her mother interrupted and said, "Julie, why do you want God to make Naples the capital of Italy?" And Julie replied, "Because that/’s what I put in my geography exam!" 睡前祷告词 朱莉叶在做睡前祷告。“祷告上帝，”她说，“让那不勒斯成为意大利的首都吧。让那不勒斯 成为意大利的首都吧。” 妈妈打断她说：“朱莉叶，你为什么求上帝让那不勒斯成为意大利的首都呢？” 朱莉叶回答说：“因为我在地理考卷上是这么写的。”

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