幽默英语阅读

幽默英语阅读篇一：一篇有趣的英语阅读理解

Passage 3

Your boss holds your future prospects in his hands. Some bosses are hard to get along with. Some have excellent qualifications but no idea when it comes to dealing with people. Of course, not all bosses are like that.

The relationship you have with your boss can be a majior factor in determining your rise up the career ladder. Your boss is ot only your leade, he is also the person best equipped to help you do the job you are paid to do. He can infom you of company diection that may affect your professional development.

Your boss also needs you to perform at your best in order to accomplish his objectives. He needs your feedback in order to provide realistic and useful working relationship with your boss?

The key is communication. Learn and understand his goals and prorities.Observe and understand your boss’s work style. If he has not been clear with his expectations, ask! Likewise, ask for feedbackl and accept critiscism gracefully. And if he understands that you do not view your job as just something to fill the hours between 9 and 5, he may be more likely to help you.

In short, getting along with your boss requires getting to know his likes and dislikes and learning to work with his personality and management style.

1. The main idea of the first paragraph is that ___________.

A. bosses are hard to deal with B. bosses have good character

C. bosses determine your career future D. bosses must have similar personality

2. In the second paragrahp, “ rise up the career ladder” ( Line 2) means___________.

A. going to work abroad B. changing jobs frequently

C. being promoted in position D.pursuing an advanced degree

3. In order to achieve his objectives, your boss expects that you will ________.

A. do your best in your work B. show your management skills

C. get along with your colleagues D. write reports to upper management

4.The most important factor for establishing a good working relationship with the boss is __________.

A. high expectations B. quick feedback

C. frequent criticism D. effective communication

5. The best title for the passage might be ______________.

A. How to take cake of your bossB. How to get along with your boss

C. How to accept your boss’s criticism D. How to accomplish your boss’s objective

幽默英语阅读篇二：高一英语阅读理解试题(幽默类)

高一英语阅读理解试题（幽默类）

(1)

George Bernard Shaw and Winston Churchill disliked each other. It is said that the playwright(剧作家) once sent Churchill two tickets for the opening night of one of his plays, together with a card, which said, “Bring a friend (if you have one).”

Churchill, however, returned the tickets with a note, which said, “I shall be busy that evening. Please send me two tickets for the second night (if there is one).”

There is no record of whether Shaw ever sent the tickets.

1. What was Shaw trying to say to Churchill on his card?

A. Churchill should not go to the play alone.

B. Churchill should not bring too many people.

C. Churchill may have to waste the two tickets.

D. Churchill did not have any friend.

2. Why didn’t Churchill want the tickets for the first night?

A. He didn’t want to take Shaw’s insult(侮辱).

B. The theatre would not be as crowded the second night.

C. He was busy on the first night of the show.

D. He couldn’t find a friend to go with him the first night.

【答案与解析】本文讲述了 Shaw 与 Churchill 相互挖苦、讽刺的幽默故事。

1. D。推断题。根据文章的交代，他们两人相互讨厌对方，于是 Shaw 在所送的票上写着 if you have one，言外之意 Churchill 没有朋友，从而可推知此题答案为 D。

2. A。推断题。根据文章的语气 if there is one 可看出：Churchill 不甘 Shaw 的侮辱，于是，反唇相讥，言外之意，你的戏不会有第 2 场，从而可推知此题答案为 A。

(2)

A crowd gathered outside a hotel where a very famous millionaire had just been knocked down and killed. One young man in the crowd seemed particularly upset. “I understand how you feel,” said a rather sympathetic(同情) old man, “I suppose he was a (转 载 于:wWW.ZHaoqT.nEt 蒲 公英文 摘:幽默英语阅读)relative of yours?”

“That’s just the problem,” replied the young man, “he wasn’t.”

1. The famous millionaire died probably because _______.

A. he was too old

C. he was shot downB. he had too much money D. he met an accident

2. Which of the following best describes the young man’s feeling?

A. He was sympathetic to the millionaire’s death.

B. He was really sorry about the millionaire’s death.

C. He wished he were the millionaire’s relative.

D. He wished the millionaire had lost all his money.

【答案与解析】一个年轻人在看到一位被车撞死的富翁时表现出很不安的样子，一位老人同情地问他死的富翁是不是他的亲人，年轻人却回答说：“问题是他不是！”

1. D。细节题。根据 …had just been knocked down and killed （knock down：被车撞倒）可知答案为 D。

2. C。推断题。从原文最后两句话可知年轻人希望自己是那个出车祸而死的富翁的亲人，这样他可以继承一大笔遗产，所以此题答案为 C。

(3)

A: I once heard someone shout, “Look out.” I put my heard out of the window and a bucketful water fell on me. It seems that “Look out” may mean “Don’t look out”.

B: I was once on a ship and heard the captain shout, “All hands on deck(甲板).” I put my hands on the deck and someone walked on them.

C: I once called early on an English friend and the servant who came to the door said, “He’s not up yet. Come back in half an hour.” When I went again for him, she said, “He’s not down yet.” I said, “If he’s neither up nor down. Where is he?”

1. In the dialogue the phrase “Look out” actually means “______”.

A. Don’t look out B. Look out for the water

C. Be carefulD. Look everywhere

2. The underlined word “them” in the dialogue means _______.

A. my feet B. my hands C. the ship D. the deck

3. “He is not up” and “He is not down” in the dialogue actually means _______.

A. He doesn’t stand up and doesn’t lie down

B. He doesn’t come up and doesn’t go down

C. He hasn't turned up and hasn't turned down

D. He hasn't got up and he hasn't come downstairs

4. The best title for the dialogue may be _______.

A. Look Out

C. How StrangeB. All Hands On Deck D. What A Language

5. The writer writes the dialogue to tell us that ______.

A. English is very interesting if you like it and keep on using it

B. it is impossible to learn English very well in a short time

C. languages keeps on developing and changing all the time

D. words and phrases may have different meanings in different situations.

【答案与解析】本文讲的是 A、B、C三人由于不明白英语中的一些习语的意思而闹出的笑话。

1. C。词义推断题。根据 A 听到有人喊 “Look out.”，就把头伸出窗外，结果是一桶水泼了下来，由此推出泼水的人喊 “look out” 是在提醒别人当心一下，他要泼水了，因此 “look out” 是注意、当心的意思，所以此题答案为 C。

2. B。细节判断题。“all hands on deck” 是“全体船员到甲板上集合”的意思，B 却误解了这句话的含义，把双手放在了甲板上。因为船员要到甲板上集合，就有人踩到了他的双手，由此可知 “them”是 “my hands” 的意思，所以答案为 B。

3. D。词义推断题。根据 C 讲述的第1句中 “early” 的和仆人说的话He’s not up yet. Come back in half an hour 可推出 He’s not up 是 He hasn’t got up 之意；根据 When I went again for him, she said, “He’s not down yet.” 可推知 He’s not down 是 He hasn’t come downstairs 之意。所以答案为 D。

4. C。语义理解题。通读全文可知，A、B、C 三人因为没有理解这些习语的真正含义，所以他们对别人的做法和说的话感到迷惑不解。由此可知 How strange 作为这篇文章的标题最合适，所以答案为 C。

5. D。主旨题。通读全文可知 “look out” “ all hands on deck” “ up” “down” 在特殊的语境里都不再是字面的意思了，由此可知作者是想告诉读者有些词或短语在不同的语境里有不同的含义，所以答案为 D。

(4)

A beautiful and very successful actress was the star of a new musical show. Her home was in the country, but she didn’t want to have to go back there every night. So she rented an expensive flat in the centre of the city, bought some beautiful furniture and hired a man to paint the rooms in new colours.

It was very difficult to get tickets for her show, because everybody wanted to see it, so she decided to give the painter two of the best seats. She hoped that this would make him work better and more willingly for her. He took the tickets without saying anything, and she heard no more about them until the end of the month, when she got the painter’s bill. At the bottom of it were the words: “Four hours watching Miss Ball sing and dance: $3,” with this note: “After 5 p.m., I get fifteen shillings an hour instead of ten shillings.”

1. In this article, “Miss Ball” was the name of _______.

A. a place where people sang and danced

C. an actress B. a dance party D. a ball

2. The actress gave the painter two tickets, hoping ________.

A. he would be pleased

B. he would ask less money for his work

C. he would charge more money for his work

D. he would praise her musical show

3. After the painter got the tickets from the actress, he _______.

A. sold them for $3

C. paid $3 for themB. went to watch the musical showD. was very thankful to her

【答案与解析】本文讲述了一个女演员为了调动给她做事的人的积极性，给了他两张很难买到看演出的门票，结果，这个做事的人曲解了这个女演员的用意，以为这也是在为她工作，而向她收取工钱的幽默故事。

1. C。推断题。从第2段第1句It was very difficult to get tickets for her show及工人的收款单下面的字Four hours watching Miss Ball sing and dance: $3可知Miss Ball就是这个演员，故此题答案为C。

2. A。细节题。根据第2段第2句She hoped that this would make him work better and more willingly for her.可推知此题答案为A。

3. B。推断题。从工人的收款单下面的字Four hours watching Miss Ball sing and dance: $3可知：工人花了四小时的时间观看她的演出，故此题答案为B。

(5)

A great big fellow, weighing around 250 pounds, walked with slow heavy noisy footsteps up to the produce counter in the supermarket. “Give me half a head of cabbage,” he told the clerk.

“All we have are whole heads,” came the cold reply.

“I don't want a whole head,” the customer demanded, “Just half a head. Are you going to sell me half a head?”

“Wait a minute, ” said the clerk nervously, “Let me ask the manager.”

She went back where the manager was stamping prices on canned goods. “Hey,” she said, “there's a big, stupid — looking buffalo(水牛) out front who wants me to sell him half a head of cabbage. Shall I tell the fool to…” She noticed the manager staring — not at her, but behind her. Turning, the clerk saw that the big and tall customer had followed her and heard every word. Quickly, the clerk turned back to the manager, “And this gentleman, ” she said, “wants to buy the other half.”

1. What is the best title for this passage?

A. A Strange Customer

C. A Nervous CustomerB. A Friendly Customer D. A Polite Customer

2. When talking to the manager, the clerk was referring to _______.

A. two different customers

B. the same customer

C. more than two customers

D. a stupid-looking customer and a gentleman

3. What is your impression of the customer?

A. Looking like an animal.

C. Looking like a gentleman. B. Looking like a house wife. D. A man of strong build.

【答案与解析】本文讲述的是一个女售货员面对尴尬场面如何机智化解的小幽默故事。

1. A。推断题。这位顾客块头很大，而且只买半头洋白菜，故令人奇怪。也可根据文章内容，采用排除法知答案为A。

幽默英语阅读篇三：中考英语阅读理解之幽默故事

中考英语阅读理解之幽默故事

Little Tommy was doing very badly in math. His parents had tried everything—tutors (家庭教师), cards, special learning centers—in short, everything they could think of. Finally they took Tommy to a catholic (天主教的) school.

After the first day, little Tommy came home with a very serious look on his face. He didn’t kiss his mother hello. Instead, he went straight to his room and started studying. Books and papers were spread (铺开) out all over the room and little Tommy was hard at work. His mother was

surprised. She called him down to dinner and as soon as he finished eating, he went back to his room, without a word. In no time he was back hitting the books as hard as before. This went on for some time, day after day while the mother tried to understand what was happening.

Finally, little Tommy brought home his report card. He quietly put it on the table and went up to his room and hit the books. His mom looked at it and to her surprise, little Tommy got an A in math. She could no longer hold her curiosity (好奇心). She went to his room and asked, “Son, what was it? Was it the nuns (修女)?”

Little Tommy looked at her and shook his head, “No. ”

“Well then,” she asked again. “WHAT was it?”

Little Tommy looked at her and said, “Well, on the first day of school, when I saw that man nailed (钉) to the plus sign (加号), I knew they weren’t joking. ”

根据以上短文内容，然后从每题所给的四个选项中选择最佳选项。

1. Why did Tommy’s parents send him to a catholic school?

A. Because he could eat well there.

B. Because he could earn more about nuns.

C. Because his parents wanted him to do better in his math.

D. Because his parents didn’t want him to learn math any more.

2. Tommy’s mother felt surprised that his son _______.

A. was still the same as usualB. ate so much at dinner

C. kissed her hello after schoolD. worked hard but said little

3. “Hitting the books” means “_______” in Chinese.

A. 用功B. 捶书 C. 发泄 D. 振作

4. The last sentence in the passage shows that _______.

A. Tommy felt sorry for the mailB. Tommy was afraid of being nailed

C. Tommy didn’t like the plus sign D. Tommy liked playing jokes on others

5. From the passage, we can infer (推断) that _______.

A. teachers should be strict with their students B. mistaking (误解) might do good sometimes

C. a catholic school is much better than other ones D. nuns are

good at helping children with their math

【答案与解析】

1. 选C。文章第1段说Tommy数学学不好，其父母想尽了一切办法都不奏效，最后将他送进了一所天主教的教会学校。

2. 选D。认真阅读第2段前面几句话，并注意以下信息：After the first day, little Tommy came home…didn’t kiss his mother hello…was hard at

work…without a word. 可知答案应选D。

3. 选A。根据文章大意和Finally, little Tommy brought home his report card. He quietly put it on the table and went up to his room and hit the books这个句子的语境，可知hit the books的意思是“用功”。

4. 选B。Tommy学习一直不用功，但自从进了这所catholic school之后，情况就不一样了——整天都发狠读书，结果数学考试也得了A。这是为什么呢？文章在最后道出了其原因：Well, on the first day of school, when I saw that man nailed (钉) to the plus sign (加号), I knew they weren’t joking. 由此可知，Tommy是担心学习不用功会被钉在十字架上。

5. 选B。Tommy把the man nailed to the plus sign误解为“学习不用功的结果”，从而一改自己原来不好学的不良习惯，很快就把数学成绩赶了上去。可见，误解有时也可以起到好的效果。

Jean is a bright young woman who comes from a rich and famous family. She goes to a good university and has everything that money can buy. Well, almost everything. The problem is that the people in Jean’s family are so busy that they can hardly find time to be with her. In fact, Jean is quite lonely.

So Jean spends a lot of time on her QQ. She likes being anonymous(匿名), talking to people who do not know about her famous family and her rich life. She uses the name Linda on QQ and has made a lot of friends who she keeps in touch with quite often.

Last year Jean made a very special friend on QQ. His name was David and lived in San Francisco. David was full of stories and jokes. He and Jean had

a common(共同的) interest in rock music and modern dance. So it always took them hours to talk happily on QQ and sometimes they even forgot their time. Of course, they wanted to know more about each other. David sent a picture of himself: He was a tall, good-looking young man with a big, happy smile. As time went by, they became good friends and often sent cards and small things to each other.

When Jean’s father told her that he was going on a business trip to San Francisco, she asked him to let her go with him so that she could give David a surprise for his birthday. She would take him the latest DVD of their favorite rock singer. But when she knocked on David’s door in San Francisco, she found that her special friend was a twelve-year-old boy named Jim!

根据以上短文内容，然后从每题所给的四个选项中选择最佳选项。

1. Jean spends a lot of her time on QQ because she is _______.

A. richB. famousC. young D. lonely

2. Jean thought “David” was special because he _______.

A. made her quite happy on QQ

C. sent her a picture of himself B. was from San Francisco D. was tall and good-looking

3. When Jean and “David” met and introduced themselves to each other, who felt surprised?

A. “David”.B. Both “David” and Jean. C. Jean.D. Neither “David” nor Jean.

4. What’s the main idea of the passage?

A. Don’t believe those you get to know on QQ so easily.

B. People don’t use their real names on QQ so often.

C. Don’t go to meet those you get to know on QQ.

D. People should tell their real names to others on QQ.

【答案与解析】

1. 选D。由第1段的句子…In fact, Jean is quite lonely. 可知答案选D。

2. 选A。Jean认为David幽默风趣，在摇滚乐和现代舞上和她有共同的兴趣，他们可以在网上快乐地聊上几个小时。很显然David使得Jean很开心。答案选A。

3. 选C。文章的最后一句…she found that her special friend was a twelve-year-old boy named Jim!告诉我们，当Jean发现她那特殊的朋友是一个12岁的小孩时，用了一个感叹号结尾，虽然作者没有直接说Jean感到惊讶，但是我们可以从这个标点符号推断出她的感觉应该是十分surprised(惊讶的)。

4. 选A。本文讲述Jean交了个十分投缘的网友，后来却发现对方原来只是一个12岁的小男孩。通过这个故事，短文意在告戒人们不要轻易相信Q友，答案选A。

A friend of mine named Paul received an expensive car from his brother as a Christmas present. On Christmas Eve when Paul came out of his office, a street urchin(顽童) was walking around the shining car. “Is this your car, sir?” he asked.

Paul answered, “Yes, my brother gave it to me for Christmas.” The boy was surprised. “You mean your brother gave it to you and it did cost you nothing? Sir, I wish…” He hesitated(犹豫). Paul thought of course he knew what the boy wanted, but what the boy said surprised him greatly. “I wish,” the boy went on, “that I could be a brother like that.” Paul looked at the boy in surprise, and then he said again, “Would you like to take a ride in my car?”

“Oh yes, I’d love to,” the boy answered.

After a short ride, the boy turned and with his eyes shining, said, “Sir, would you mind driving in front of my house?”

Paul smiled a little. He thought he knew what the boy wanted. He wanted to show his neighbors that he could ride home in a big car. But Paul was wrong again. “Will you stop where those two steps are?” the boy asked. He ran up to the steps. Then in a short while Paul heard him coming back, but he was not coming fast. He was carrying his little crippled(残疾的) brother. He sat down on the step and pointed to the car.

“There he is, Buddy, just like I told you upstairs. His brother gave it to him for Christmas and it didn’t cost him a cent. And some day I’m going to give you one just like it…then you can see for yourself all the nice things in the Christmas windows that I’ve been trying to tell you about.”

Paul got out and lifted the boy to the front seat of his car. The shining-eyed elder brother climbed in beside him and the three began an unforgettable holiday ride.

根据以上短文内容，然后从每题所给的四个选项中选择最佳选项。

1. The street urchin was very surprised when _______.

A. he met Paul

D. he was walking around B. Paul told him about the car C. Paul received an expensive car

the car

2. From the story we can see the urchin _______.

A. wished to give his brother a car B. wanted Paul’s brother

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